Many people seem to not know this, but there are some really wonderful things about babies, and all you have to do is keep them alive to find out for yourself.
Still skeptical? The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of great things you can do with little babies instead of aborting them:
- Dress them up in hilarious costumes: There are few things better than watching a tiny, clumsy person dressed as a chicken.
- Arm wrestle them and watch them marvel at your extraordinary might: You know you could use the confidence boost.
- Make them giggle and feel the infinite well of joy bubble over within your immortal soul: You haven't truly experienced life until you make your child laugh.
- Absolutely destroy them at Mario Kart: There may not be a more solemn duty for a parent.
- Put little tiny baby shoes on them: Awwww!! WIDDLE TINY BABY SHOOOOOOOOOES!
- Use them to drive in the carpool lane: Nothing wrong with cutting down on travel time a little bit.
- Give them cool names like "Samwise" or "Frodo": Just don't go overboard with "Meriadoc."
- Tell them to pull your finger: Ha! Classic!
- See how high you can toss them in the air: Still unclear who enjoys this more, Dad or baby.
- Discover eternal purpose and meaning in your own life as you watch them discover piece by piece the beauty and grandeur of the universe: An easy, simple way to find reason in your existence.
Don't those sound like amazing reasons? What are you waiting for? Go get married and have some babies!
NOT SATIRE: In the Giving Ventures podcast episode "Pro-Life Beyond Policy," listeners are treated to an insightful conversation with Jeanne Mancini, president of March for Life. Mancini's leadership in the pro-life movement brings depth and perspective to discussions beyond mere policy debates. Throughout the episode, she delves into the multifaceted nature of the pro-life ethos, emphasizing the importance of holistic support for women facing unplanned pregnancies, and the broader cultural shift needed to uphold the dignity of every human life.
Listeners are invited into a nuanced exploration of how individuals and communities can embody pro-life values in their everyday lives, extending compassion and practical assistance to those in need. Mancini's passion for fostering a culture of life shines through as she articulates the interconnectedness of policy advocacy, grassroots activism, and personal outreach. Through this engaging dialogue, the podcast inspires listeners to consider how they can contribute to building a society where every life is valued and supported. Subscribe to the Giving Ventures podcast and listen to this special episode.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.