With Congressional Testimony Complete, Dr. Fauci Returns To Hidden Lair On Skull Island To Hatch Next Evil Plot
World · Jun 4, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

SKULL ISLAND — The world braced for what promised to be a frightening remainder of 2024, as with his congressional testimony complete, Dr. Anthony Fauci returned to his hidden lair on Skull Island to hatch his next evil plot.

The mad scientist and global terrorizer finished his day of being grilled by congressmen on Capitol Hill and fielding tough questions about the creation of the COVID-19 virus and the government's response to it before traveling via helicopter to the safety of his hideout on Skull Island to devise ways to exact revenge on the world.

"I'll show you. I'll show you all!" Fauci was heard muttering menacingly as he entered his hidden lair and sat down on a dark throne made of facemasks and nasal swabs. "You like to sit there in your bland neckties and your ill-fitting suits and ask me questions? ME?! Who do you think you are? You are but congressmen! Do you know who I am? I'M SCIENCE!"

Fauci's minions cowered in fear as he raged, knowing the offense caused by the congressional hearing would result in his renewed obsession to destroy humanity. "You thought COVID was bad?" Fauci asked calmly as he petted a large white cat on his lap. "It was only the beginning. You have no idea what I am capable of. You'll see. You'll all see."

At publishing time, Fauci had increased security patrols around his island lair after hearing that British intelligence had dispatched a secret agent to infiltrate the base and apprehend him.

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