BOISE, ID — The Babylon Bee has officially announced its person of the year: housewife Christina Meyers, 34, of Boise Idaho.
Meyers is the mom of four young children, wife to Dave, and caretaker of a lovely one-story home. She spends most of her time doing fairly mundane tasks which nurture infinitely precious souls.
"I don't really know what this is all about…it's really nice though," Meyers told Babylon Bee staff when interviewed for the prestigious award. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a few loads of laundry to do before reading bedtime stories and tucking four little faces into bed."
Meyers has reportedly lived in Boise for ten years, during which time she has done nothing on social media to create an online platform. She enjoys sewing crafts, helping her 10-year-old with piano lessons, going on date nights with Dave, and working to ensure her home is a place of peace and refuge from an increasingly corrupt world.
"I'm thrilled Christina is getting some recognition for all she does," Dave told The Bee. "I don't know what we'd do without her. She's the glue that holds us all together. And you know what? She genuinely loves what she does, and it shows in everything she touches."
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.