WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to criticism about the high prices of food as the holiday season approaches, the Biden administration assured American families that the cost of Thanksgiving dinner is actually down significantly this year in comparison to previous years as long as you don't buy any food.

"The notion that Thanksgiving dinner is more expensive this year is a misrepresentation," said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is both black and gay. "The fact of the matter is that Americans have never been able to save more money on food for Thanksgiving than they can this year. In order to do so, all people need to do is participate in what we are referring to as the ‘Thanksgiving Fast.' It's a new American tradition where you don't buy any food or eat anything on Thanksgiving. It's an experience the whole family can enjoy together."

The Biden administration has come under heavy fire as economic woes and inflation continue to plague the country, leaving families to bear a heavier financial burden when purchasing basic necessities, let alone splurging for holiday feasts. "Do you know how hard it is for me to feed four kids on normal days?" asked frustrated citizen Josiah Smith. "Before Biden, my kids were literally swimming in turkey for Thanksgiving. I mean that literally. It was gross. But still, we had plenty of turkey. Now, we'll all be sharing a few beans like we're performing Oliver Twist or something."

At publishing time, The White House also suggested the option for all Americans to join the president by issuing pardons to all turkeys nationwide, saving significant money on Thanksgiving dinner.

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