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Man Returns To Work From Long Weekend Refreshed And Ready To Give Mediocre Effort - Article image
Life · Sep 8, 2026 · 29
Man Returns To Work From Long Weekend Refreshed And Ready To Give Mediocre Effort

ROME, GA - After a long holiday weekend, local man Kevin Simpson returned to his office at River City Bank this morning, refreshed and ready to give a...

Controversy In Michigan Tarnishes NCAA’s Otherwise Perfect Reputation - Article image
Sports · Sep 6, 2026 · 43
Controversy In Michigan Tarnishes NCAA’s Otherwise Perfect Reputation

ANN ARBOR, MI - A highly controversial ending at Michigan Stadium has unfortunately put a slight black eye on the NCAA's otherwise sterling reputation...

God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors - Article image
U.S. · Sep 8, 2026
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors

BOSTON, MA - A new report revealed that God promised to spare the state of Massachusetts if legal officials there can find at least 12 competent resid...
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave - Featured article image
Politics · Sep 8, 2026 · 40

WASHINGTON, D.C. - As the U.S. Congress prepared to return to work next week, one major lingering question was answered as the Senate approved a reque...

Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over - Article image
Scripture · Sep 4, 2026 · 69
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over

JUDEA - In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy tim...

Scripture · Sep 4, 2026 · 69
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over

Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over - Featured article image
JUDEA - In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy tim...
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors - Article image
U.S. · Sep 8, 2026
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors

BOSTON, MA - A new report revealed that God promised to spare the state of Massachusetts if legal officials there can find at least 12 competent resid...

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Pastor Agonizing About Which Greek Word To Explain This Week In His Sermon

Aug 29, 2026 | Farming Like Nineteen Ninety Nine


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Sep 5, 2026 | ironsakura


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Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God - Article image
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God
Theology · Sep 5, 2026 · 99
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut - Article image
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut
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Nation Votes To Remove Massachusetts - Article image
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Breakthrough As Scientists At University Of Michigan Develop Ability To Travel Back In Time One Second - Article image
Sports · Sep 6, 2026 · 88
Breakthrough As Scientists At University Of Michigan Develop Ability To Travel Back In Time One Second

ANN ARBOR - In one of the most remarkable technological breakthroughs of the past millennium, scientists at the University of Michigan have successful...
Nation’s Murderers Excited To Learn Killing Legal If You Say You Were Sad - Article image
U.S. · Sep 7, 2026 · 82
Nation’s Murderers Excited To Learn Killing Legal If You Say You Were Sad

U.S. - Millions of murderers across the country expressed overwhelming optimism today following reports that killing someone is effectively legal, pro...
Women Honor Gloria Steinem By Leaving Kids At Daycare And Working 9 Hours At Jobs They Hate - Article image
Worldviews · Sep 7, 2026 · 60
Women Honor Gloria Steinem By Leaving Kids At Daycare And Working 9 Hours At Jobs They Hate

U.S. - Women across America honored the passing of feminist icon Gloria Steinem by dropping their kids off at daycare and heading to work for 9 hours ...
California Teen Flunks Driver's License Test For Fully Stopping At Stop Sign - Article image
Life · Sep 7, 2026 · 83
California Teen Flunks Driver's License Test For Fully Stopping At Stop Sign

SACRAMENTO, CA - A local 16-year-old saw her dreams crushed Thursday after bringing her vehicle to a complete, zero-mile-per-hour stop at a stop sign,...

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State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity - Article image
U.S. · Sep 4, 2026 · 98
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity

U.S. - The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang - Article image
The Bee Explains · Sep 2, 2026 · 193
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang

Connecting with the older folk can be a challenge, especially when you have a hard time understanding what they're saying. But don't worry, if you put...
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans - Article image
Sports · Sep 4, 2026 · 53
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald Trump announced on Friday that he had successfully annexed the Canadian hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens, and w...
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian - Article image
Sports · Sep 3, 2026 · 87
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian

JUPITER, FL - A Florida court suspended golf legend Tiger Woods' driver's license for five years after an investigation determined that he is half-Asi...

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Mormon Wedding Turns Into Wild Rager After Someone Slips Some Caffeine Into The Punch - Article image
Life · Aug 5, 2022 · 194
Mormon Wedding Turns Into Wild Rager After Someone Slips Some Caffeine Into The Punch

SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Chaos broke out at the wedding of Addison and Nate Smith last Friday when local LDS hooligans snuck caffeinated black tea from a ...
Biden Promises To Send Rescue Train In Search Of Missing Sub - Article image
Biden Promises To Send Rescue Train In Search Of Missing Sub
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Atheist Patiently Waits For Ikea Coffee Table To Assemble Itself - Article image
Atheist Patiently Waits For Ikea Coffee Table To Assemble Itself
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In New 'Dune' Movie, Paul Atreides To Defeat Sandworms With Extra-Strength Dose Of Ivermectin - Article image
In New 'Dune' Movie, Paul Atreides To Defeat Sandworms With Extra-Strength Dose Of Ivermectin
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Democrats Considering New Strategy Of Complaining Loudly Every Day About Trump - Article image
Democrats Considering New Strategy Of Complaining Loudly Every Day About Trump
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Horrified Nation Suddenly Realizes Ocasio-Cortez Will Probably Be President In Six Years - Article image
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Happy Labor Day 2026! - Article image
Premium · Sep 7, 2026 · 83
Happy Labor Day 2026!

Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project - Article image
Premium · Aug 31, 2026 · 74
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project

Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed - Article image
Premium · Aug 27, 2026 · 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed

The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines - Article image
Premium · Aug 24, 2026 · 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines

Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...

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FBI Hires Top-Rated Italian Bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli To Protect Ghislaine Maxwell - Article image
FBI Hires Top-Rated Italian Bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli To Protect Ghislaine Maxwell
Politics · Jul 2, 2020 · 71
Challenge: Can You Spot The Trans Person In Each Of These 9 Photos? - Article image
Challenge: Can You Spot The Trans Person In Each Of These 9 Photos?
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Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is - Article image
Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is
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Rachel Levine Is 100% Woman And We Are Sorry For Calling Her A Man - Article image
Rachel Levine Is 100% Woman And We Are Sorry For Calling Her A Man
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Joel Osteen Launches Line Of Pastoral Wear: 'Sheep's Clothing' - Article image
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Jussie Smollett Offered Job At CNN After Fabricating News Story Out Of Thin Air - Article image
Jussie Smollett Offered Job At CNN After Fabricating News Story Out Of Thin Air
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