Politics
· Sep 10, 2026
· 50
Trump Pledges That If Voters Defeat Socialism In November, They Will Each Get An Equal Redistribution Of Wealth From The Government
DALLAS, TX - In his keynote speech at the 2026 RNC Midterm Convention, President Donald Trump pledged that if voters defeat socialism in November, the...
Scripture
· Sep 10, 2026
· 43
Moses Threatens Pharaoh With Plague Of Unskippable YouTube Ads
EGYPT - A remarkable discovery in what was formerly the Biblical land of Goshen indicated that, in addition to the traditional 10 plagues mentioned in...
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Crime
· Sep 9, 2026
· 93
The Babylon Bee Interviews The Lindsay Clancy Jury
With millions of Americans struggling to understand how the Lindsay Clancy jury came within a hair's breadth of finding the self-confessed murderer "n...
Theology
· Sep 9, 2026
· 73
'Oh, Your Intelligent Creations Are Trying To Kill You? That's Interesting,' Says Jesus
PALO ALTO, CA - As tech giants continue to bicker back and forth about the dangers of A.I. becoming powerful enough to kill all humanity, Silicon Vall...
Sponsored
· Sep 9, 2026
· 64
9 Rejected 'VeggieTales' Episodes
There have been over 150 episodes of the beloved children's cartoon VeggieTales across all its iterations, but not every idea the writers had made it ...
Crime
· Sep 9, 2026
· 73
Holdout Juror Accused Of Getting Hung Up On Fact That Defendant Committed Crime
PLYMOUTH, MA - In the wake of Lindsay Clancy's murder case ending in a mistrial, several jurors have publicly accused the lone holdout juror of being ...
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Politics
· Sep 8, 2026
· 80
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As the U.S. Congress prepared to return to work next week, one major lingering question was answered as the Senate approved a reque...
Scripture
· Sep 8, 2026
· 50
Disciples Shocked As Apostle Paul Returns From Prison Tattooed And Totally Ripped
PHILIPPI - According to sources, the disciples at Lydia's house were shocked to see that Paul had returned from prison covered in tattoos and "totally...
U.S.
· Sep 7, 2026
· 99
Nation’s Murderers Excited To Learn Killing Legal If You Say You Were Sad
U.S. - Millions of murderers across the country expressed overwhelming optimism today following reports that killing someone is effectively legal, pro...
Family
· Sep 8, 2026
· 90
Child Tragically Reaches Age Where He Knows He's Not Actually Playing Video Game
SEDONA, AZ - Local five-year-old Marcus Townsend unfortunately crossed the dreaded Rubicon of knowing whether he was actually playing a video game or ...
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Premium
· Sep 7, 2026
· 87
Happy Labor Day 2026!
Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
Premium
· Aug 31, 2026
· 74
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Premium
· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Premium
· Aug 24, 2026
· 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines
Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
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