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Dems Accuse Spencer Pratt Of Not Wanting To Destroy California - Article image
Politics · May 12, 2026 · 62
Dems Accuse Spencer Pratt Of Not Wanting To Destroy California

LOS ANGELES, CA - Democrats have unleashed vicious attack ads accusing L.A. mayoral candidate Spencer Pratt of not wanting to destroy the state of Ca...

Local Fan Way More Invested In Success Of Team Than Players On Actual Team Are - Article image
Sports · May 12, 2026 · 42
Local Fan Way More Invested In Success Of Team Than Players On Actual Team Are

SAN DIEGO, CA - The San Diego Padres organization is reportedly concerned about local sports fan Lonny Philbin for being more invested in the success ...

9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work - Article image
Sponsored · May 12, 2026 · 31
9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work

While some loons have desperately tried to read Christian themes and symbolism into The Lord of the Rings, the fact is that Tolkien's masterpiece is c...
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women - Featured article image
Media · May 12, 2026 · 69

U.S. - Longtime daytime talk show "The View" has announced that next season will feature an all-new cast of angry middle-aged women.

In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess - Article image
Christian Living · May 12, 2026 · 61
In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess

TAMPA, FL - Heavenly sources have announced that the Almighty has declined to "Bless This Mess" in spite of the presence of a novelty sign requesting ...

Christian Living · May 12, 2026 · 61
In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess

In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess - Featured article image
TAMPA, FL - Heavenly sources have announced that the Almighty has declined to "Bless This Mess" in spite of the presence of a novelty sign requesting ...
9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work - Article image
Sponsored · May 12, 2026 · 31
9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work

While some loons have desperately tried to read Christian themes and symbolism into The Lord of the Rings, the fact is that Tolkien's masterpiece is c...

Subscriber Headlines

Iranians Flee In Terror After Navy Brings Back The 'Harvey Milk'

May 5, 2026 | TwoDegreesOff


Bluesky Introduces Profile Badge For Users Who Have Attempted To Assassinate Trump

May 12, 2026 | Local Jerk


AI Fears It Will Soon Lose Job To Marco Rubio

May 5, 2026 | Brrrt Reynolds

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WebMD Adds Convenient ‘Draft My Last Will And Testament’ Option - Article image
WebMD Adds Convenient ‘Draft My Last Will And Testament’ Option
Health · May 12, 2026 · 47
Karen Bass Endorsed By California Wildfires - Article image
Karen Bass Endorsed By California Wildfires
Politics · May 12, 2026 · 48
Ew, A Gross Disgusting Bug — What, Why Did You Kill It, YOU MONSTER! — Op-Ed By Wife - Article image
Ew, A Gross Disgusting Bug — What, Why Did You Kill It, YOU MONSTER! — Op-Ed By Wife
Op-Ed · May 11, 2026 · 64
Trump Unveils Plans To Turn Reflecting Pool Into Humongous Water Park - Article image
Trump Unveils Plans To Turn Reflecting Pool Into Humongous Water Park
Politics · May 11, 2026 · 39
Goodyear Blimp Barely Recognizable After Going On Ozempic - Article image
Goodyear Blimp Barely Recognizable After Going On Ozempic
Health · May 11, 2026 · 52
‘There, It Couldn’t Be More Clear,’ Announces John After Finishing Revelation - Article image
‘There, It Couldn’t Be More Clear,’ Announces John After Finishing Revelation
Scripture · May 11, 2026 · 45

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Three Republicans Thrown Into Fiery Furnace For Not Bowing Down To Trump Statue - Article image
Scripture · May 11, 2026 · 88
Three Republicans Thrown Into Fiery Furnace For Not Bowing Down To Trump Statue

MAR-A-LAGO, FL - Three Republicans refused to bow to the golden Trump statue at Mar-A-Lago, sources confirmed today. Those at the unveiling had been i...
What Luck! Dr. Fauci Announces He's Been Working On Hantavirus Vaccine This Whole Time - Article image
Health · May 11, 2026 · 68
What Luck! Dr. Fauci Announces He's Been Working On Hantavirus Vaccine This Whole Time

ROCKVILLE, MD - Hantavirus has quickly become the biggest viral threat to humanity since COVID and as luck would have it, Dr. Fauci has announced that...
Woman Healed Of Liberalism After Touching Golden Trump Statue - Article image
Politics · May 11, 2026 · 68
Woman Healed Of Liberalism After Touching Golden Trump Statue

MIAMI, FL - A newly christened golden statue of President Donald Trump may have healing powers, as sources confirmed a woman who had touched it was mi...
China Visit Off To Rough Start After Trump Demands To Negotiate Directly With General Tso - Article image
World · May 12, 2026 · 56
China Visit Off To Rough Start After Trump Demands To Negotiate Directly With General Tso

BEIJING - Diplomatic talks between the United States and China reportedly got off to an awkward start after President Donald Trump demanded to negotia...

Must Read

New York Offers To House Hantavirus Patients In Nursing Homes - Article image
Health · May 11, 2026 · 55
New York Offers To House Hantavirus Patients In Nursing Homes

MANHATTAN - The State of New York has graciously offered to allow American hantavirus patients to stay in any of their local nursing homes.
BREAKING: Democrats Prepare Petard To Destroy Trump And Republicans; UPDATE: They Themselves Have Been Hoisted By Said Petard - Article image
Politics · May 11, 2026 · 51
BREAKING: Democrats Prepare Petard To Destroy Trump And Republicans; UPDATE: They Themselves Have Been Hoisted By Said Petard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a most cunning stratagem, Democratic lawmakers didst this morn unveil a petard of monstrous proportions, which they had labored ...
'I Am Your Father,' Reveals Trump To Horrified Mark Hamill - Article image
Celebs · May 8, 2026 · 104
'I Am Your Father,' Reveals Trump To Horrified Mark Hamill

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Donald Trump called an impromptu press conference in front of the White House this week to deliver a life-changing message to actor...
Oil Tanker Slips Anonymously Through Strait Of Hormuz By Adding Fake Nose And Mustache - Article image
World · May 9, 2026 · 65
Oil Tanker Slips Anonymously Through Strait Of Hormuz By Adding Fake Nose And Mustache

MIDDLE EAST - An oil tanker has managed to slip through the Strait of Hormuz completely undetected after donning a giant fake nose and mustache.

Don't Miss

Entire Family Starves To Death Without A ‘Gather’ Sign In The Kitchen - Article image
Christian Living · Aug 25, 2021 · 94
Entire Family Starves To Death Without A ‘Gather’ Sign In The Kitchen

Young Aiden Jacobs thought it was a good idea to toss out the 'silly', and 'pointless' kitchen decorations. "Why did this ever become a thing?" he sai...
Fox News Analysts Declare Tampa Bay Super Bowl Winners Four Minutes Into First Quarter - Article image
Fox News Analysts Declare Tampa Bay Super Bowl Winners Four Minutes Into First Quarter
Sports · Feb 7, 2021 · 55
Bernie Sanders Struggling To Stay Six Feet Away From Americans' Wallets - Article image
Bernie Sanders Struggling To Stay Six Feet Away From Americans' Wallets
Politics · Apr 7, 2020 · 8
Biden Suggests Stopping Criminals By Making Them Slip On Banana Peels - Article image
Biden Suggests Stopping Criminals By Making Them Slip On Banana Peels
Politics · Oct 16, 2020 · 81
Report: Episcopalians May Still Exist - Article image
Report: Episcopalians May Still Exist
Ministries · Aug 1, 2016 · 11
Coronavirus Overtakes Ninjas As Top Invisible Enemy - Article image
Coronavirus Overtakes Ninjas As Top Invisible Enemy
U.S. · Apr 24, 2020 · 12
'I Just Don't Find Weird Al Funny,' Says Uncultured Neanderthal - Article image
'I Just Don't Find Weird Al Funny,' Says Uncultured Neanderthal
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Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition - Article image
Premium · May 5, 2026 · 44
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition

Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees - Article image
Premium · Apr 28, 2026 · 159
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees

Trump created quite a scene today when he showed off the beehive from the White House South Lawn to the visiting king of England. Write your best capt...
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 36
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test

Do you think you can guess the terrorist in this thumbnail? If so, you are a racist. Unconscious bias is a type of systematically deeply integrated so...

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Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts - Article image
Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts
Lifestyle · Apr 27, 2020 · 46
Nation's Nerds Wake Up In Utopia Where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports Are Canceled, Social Interaction Forbidden - Article image
Nation's Nerds Wake Up In Utopia Where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports Are Canceled, Social Interaction Forbidden
Health · Mar 12, 2020 · 16
Bibles Pulled From Shelves For Outdated Idea That All Humans Are Of One Race And Made In The Image Of God - Article image
Bibles Pulled From Shelves For Outdated Idea That All Humans Are Of One Race And Made In The Image Of God
Scripture · Jun 12, 2020 · 32
Fisher-Price Releases 'My First Peaceful Protest' Playset With House You Can Actually Burn Down - Article image
Fisher-Price Releases 'My First Peaceful Protest' Playset With House You Can Actually Burn Down
Politics · Sep 21, 2020 · 94
Least Masculine Society In Human History Decides Masculinity Is A Growing Threat - Article image
Least Masculine Society In Human History Decides Masculinity Is A Growing Threat
Worldviews · Jan 17, 2019 · 56
Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces - Article image
Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces
Politics · Sep 28, 2018 · 37

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