The Babylon Bee
Politics
· Oct 12, 2026
· 48
Mamdani Says ICE Agents Who Cross Border Into New York City Without Permission Will Be Prosecuted
NEW YORK, NY - The mayor's office announced on Monday that any ICE agents who cross the border into the city without permission would be prosecuted to...
Sports
· Oct 12, 2026
· 46
Man Heads To Golf Course For Relaxing Afternoon Cursing Himself And The Day He Was Born
COLLEGE STATION, TX - Off work for Columbus Day, local man Clay Taylor headed out to the golf course for a relaxing afternoon cursing himself and the ...
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U.S.
· Oct 12, 2026
· 61
Trump Tells Liberals Uncomfortable With Public Execution To Just Imagine It's A Healthcare CEO
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As public debate continued over the scheduled live-streaming of terrorist Nidal Hasan's death by firing squad, President Donald Tru...
Politics
· Oct 9, 2026
· 136
10 Best Reasons To Vote For Democrats In The Midterms
The midterms are less than a month away, so it's important for you to understand who you're voting for and why. You may think that voting for Republic...
Scripture
· Oct 10, 2026
· 99
Lot Wins Halloween Couples Costume Contest Dressed As Pepper Shaker
THE PLAIN OF JORDAN - Lot won first prize in a local Halloween couples costume contest this weekend after dressing up as a pepper shaker.
Politics
· Oct 12, 2026
· 60
Fringe Conspiracy Theorist Still Believes James Talarico Not Insane
AUSTIN, TX - Despite overwhelming evidence, a local fringe conspiracy theorist continued to insist that U.S. Senate hopeful James Talarico wasn't insa...
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Politics
· Oct 9, 2026
· 56
Mamdani Struggling To Find That Perfect Work-Terrorism Balance
NEW YORK, NY - Mayor Zoran Mamdani's demeanor suffered in recent days, according to observers, as he struggled to find that perfect work-terrorism bal...
Politics
· Oct 9, 2026
· 80
Democrat Strategists Remove James Talarico From Campaign Trail To Hide The Fact That He's James Talarico
AUSTIN, TX - Senate candidate James Talarico suddenly disappeared from the campaign trail last week after Democratic strategists realized that he is J...
Crime
· Oct 9, 2026
· 47
Man Politely Informs Officer He Was Not Texting And Driving, He Was Actually Playing 'Mario Tennis' On His Game Boy Advance SP
GLENDORA, CA - A local man narrowly avoided receiving a ticket for texting while driving after he politely explained to the police officer that he was...
U.S.
· Oct 8, 2026
· 50
Experts Fear Terrorist Activity In Minneapolis Could Spread To America Next
U.S. - After a terrorist attack on the Mall of America was narrowly thwarted yesterday, experts warned that terrorist activity could spread beyond Min...
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Premium
· Oct 12, 2026
· 57
Snopes Saves The Day By Fact Checking Satire From The Bee Again
It's not easy for the humorless to discern real news from fake news. That's when they turn to reliable outlets like Snopes to tell them the difference...
Premium
· Oct 12, 2026
· 45
How Was Church? Building Your House On The Rock Edition
Hurricane Rachel is affecting parts of Southern California, with one particular stretch of homes built on a sandpit peninsula in Long Beach being hit ...
Premium
· Oct 9, 2026
· 31
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | October 9, 2026
Welcome to the Bee's Weekly Roundup! We're here to catch you up on the biggest stories of the past week -- and to save our dear readers from the dread...
Premium
· Oct 8, 2026
· 64
Dad Commits Harakiri In Shame After Not Mowing Lawn Lines Perfectly Straight
This bonus article is for you, our valued subscribers. Enjoy!
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