Worship Leader Stunned To Learn There Are Worship Songs Written Before 2016
Church · Mar 1, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

SANDWICH, IL — As the praise team of a local church went about its standard rehearsal for this weekend's service, the worship leader was stunned to learn that there are worship songs that were written before the year 2016.

The stunning revelation came as a total shock to the worship pastor, who had spent his entire career believing worship music had its genesis as a genre less than a decade ago and had no idea songs written to praise God have existed for thousands of years.

"Wow, are you serious? No way," worship leader Chad Hanson said incredulously after the team's bass player suggested they should do a hymn from the 18th century. "Good one, Todd. Let's not pretend we can pick anything that's older than ‘What A Beautiful Name' or ‘O Come To The Altar.' I appreciate your attempt at humor, but let's stay focused here and get through rehearsal before we start cracking silly jokes."

Other members of the worship band reportedly expressed confusion that Hanson was under the impression that worship music history began in 2016. "It was like he thought Hillsong and Chris Tomlin invented it, which is scary," said one musician following the rehearsal. "I guess it explains a lot. Now I know why he had a blank stare every time I suggested doing ‘It Is Well With My Soul' or ‘How Great Thou Art.'"

At publishing time, Hanson had reportedly taken a leave of absence after learning that the entire book of Psalms, written thousands of years ago, is, in fact, a book of worship songs.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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