GAZA — Day-to-day life in the terrorist occupied area of Gaza settled back into its normal pre-war routine, as with Israel's withdrawal to comply with the ceasefire agreement, Hamas was finally able to conduct public executions in peace.
After two years of brutal conflict with Israeli forces, Hamas terrorists expressed relief that the peace deal brokered by President Donald Trump allowed them to get back to business as usual and handle the murdering Gazans themselves.
"Like slipping into a comfortable pair of old shoes," said spokesterrorist Amal Qadir. "It's been a long time since we were able to enjoy our normal daily activities, but thanks to Israel's withdrawal from Gaza, we can settle back into publicly executing people who refuse to comply with our demands. It's nice."
Though the ceasefire was still in its early stages, the mutual release of hostages and Israel's willingness to pull back from the war front have given Hamas at least some semblance of having their lives go back to normal. "It's refreshing to get a little taste of the way things used to be before the war," Qadir continued. "Just this morning, we got up, went for a brisk morning walk, and lined up a few insolent rebels and shot them in the head before sitting down for breakfast. It's wonderful to have peace."
Hamas went on to state that it should only be a matter of days before it would be filling mass graves with the dead bodies of executed Gazans.
At publishing time, Hamas had also expressed hopefulness that it could use the ceasefire to get its bomb-making operations back up and running.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
