NEW YORK, NY — As alternative media personality and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones made his return to the social media platform X (formerly Twitter), members of the mainstream media across the country voiced their displeasure at the thought of having more competition in the misinformation industry.
"We are the only ones qualified to write made-up stories to push a narrative," said Philip Jennings, columnist for The New York Times. "How Elon Musk can just stand idly by and reinstate someone like Alex Jones is beyond me. Our job of leading the American public in the wrong direction based on falsehoods and misrepresentations is difficult enough without having to compete with him."
Controversy exploded over the weekend after Elon Musk reinstated the X accounts of Jones and Infowars. "How can he do that?!" shouted one unhinged reporter for The Washington Post. "I demand someone tell me how a guy who owns a social media platform has the right to decide who is allowed to participate on that platform! Everyone is acting like people should be able to just say whatever they want. We won't stand for this!"
Media experts warn that with Alex Jones freely spreading misinformation on the internet, many will be lured away from the credible, trusted misinformation spread by journalists. "This is dangerous," said Dr. Blake Rumsey of the Media Analysis Institute. "He must be stopped for the sake of our democracy."
At publishing time, members of legacy media outlets were finishing up a public roundtable on the social media platform Threads, which no one saw due to it being held on Threads.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
