WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Trump campaign unveiled the president's winning strategy for Tuesday night's debate: he will simply stand there and let Joe Biden try to form coherent sentences for the entire evening.
Trump says he will simply go on stage and say, "I cede my time to Joe Biden," before calmly sitting down and watching in delight as Biden tries to maintain coherence for nearly two hours.
"It's a genius move, frankly," said one political analyst. "There's some real 4D chess going on over there in the White House. Or perhaps 7D Axis & Allies, or even 17D Diplomacy. The Biden campaign simply isn't operating on Trump's level."
Many are unsure the strategy will work since he's unlikely to be able to contain himself when Biden inevitably makes some huge gaffes. Much of his debate prep has focused on this, with aides zapping him with a bug zapper every time he has an outburst where he shouts out things like "CHECK OUT SLEEPY JOE OVER HERE!" or "WHAT AN IDIOT!"
Unfortunately, the Biden campaign has announced the same plan, and both candidates are expected to stand in stony silence waiting to see which one of them will crack and start rambling first.