SACRAMENTO, CA — After getting his head hopelessly stuck in a banister this morning, an outraged Governor Gavin Newsom demanded to know why Trump would do this.
Eyewitnesses report that Newsom repeatedly shouted for Trump to stop escalating the situation as he steadily slid his greased-up head through the railing.
"Look at what Trump has done now," exclaimed Newsom, struggling to wriggle free. "Another disaster wrought by a failed President. I had everything under control before Trump did this."
Aides tried for hours to free the governor's head from the banister, but without success. "It's really stuck. We're going to have to saw him out of there. I just can't believe Trump did this," said aide Cyndi Miller. "Look at this governor's head in a banister. This is what authoritarianism looks like."
At publishing time, Newsom's head had been freed from the banister, after which he immediately stepped on a rake and decried Trump for injuring him.
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