WASHINGTON, D.C. — To assuage concerns over Biden's leadership, Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre explained during the daily White House press briefing that President Joe Biden has had a cold for the past four years.
"He's just had a bad four years," Jean-Pierre said. "And he's been perpetually jet-lagged since the '70s — a rare but serious condition."
The morning's press briefing began with prepared remarks regarding the NATO summit, which concluded Thursday. Then, surprising everyone, reporters asked questions about Biden's health instead of the plight of Ukraine, forcing Jean-Pierre to set the record straight.
"I mean, look, this is the first time I've ever heard you were concerned about his health, but I can tell you definitively he just has a cold. He's had a cold for approximately four years," Jean-Pierre explained. "He's not bedridden, but he is the precise level of sick required to be excused from his frequent mistakes. After all, he has a cold."
Peter Doocy of Fox News asked, "Do you mean to tell me that he's had a cold all these years but still goes out in public to shake hands with world leaders? Isn't that irresponsible? Is he trying to get people killed, Karine?"
Jean-Pierre shut him down immediately. "Look, I'm not going to discuss the president's public interactions with world leaders because those are private, okay? That would be wholly inappropriate."
"How is a public interaction private?" Doocy asked in a follow-up.
"I already told you that's inappropriate," the press secretary answered. "I will now only take questions from NPR."
The White House would not comment on how Biden got sick, or what medication the president was taking, if any, clarifying that his medical health was a private matter.
Watch how a D.E.I. consultant magically turns a video game into... well, something else entirely.