U.S.—New, modern Valentine's Day cards for the woke are including long forms asking for your partner's consent to continue your advances.
The updated, modernized Valentine's Day cards say things like, "I love you!" and "Be mine!" Then, when you open them up, a 300-page contract falls out, requiring your signature and initials to confirm that you consent to being pursued romantically.
Some even have consent-minded slogans like "Be Mine -- if you want! No big deal if not. Let me know. Whatever."
"Nothing says 'I love you' like making your S.O. sign hundreds of pages confirming she consents to your romantic gestures," wrote one Huffington Post blogger. "She'll absolutely swoon for you when you have her sign forms agreeing to let you hold her hand, open the door for you, tell her she looks pretty, and smile at her. Consent is sexy."
"It'll really set the mood for a very romantic Valentine's Day."
Unfortunately, many modern women were upset by being handed the consent forms, as they hadn't consented to being asked for consent.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.