BARTLESVILLE, OK — Reporters on the ground say local man Jeff Sheldon is still following his friends around, persisting in telling and re-telling what it means to be an introvert.
"It doesn't mean you don't like to be around people," said Mr. Sheldon for the thirtieth time. "It just means that you are recharged by being alone, and - hey! Where are you going?"
While Mr. Sheldon's friends enjoy his company, his constant jabbering about being introverted has become a bit of a drag. "Apparently, the one thing introverts can talk incessantly about is what it means to be an introvert," said friend Steve Book. "He keeps talking to us about how it doesn't mean you don't like to talk to people. We keep responding that he has made that abundantly obvious."
While classically thought of as being quiet and shy, introverts have worked diligently over the past decade to change that perception with interminable chatter. "I miss the old days when I could count on my introvert friends to not talk much," said Mr. Book. "It was nice knowing we could just smoke a cigar and watch the clouds roll in."
At publishing time, Mr. Sheldon had discovered that being energized by talking about introversion actually made him an extrovert, but he didn't really want to tell anyone about that.
DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate millions of government positions