HOLLYWOOD, CA—Saying they hadn't heard of the concept of having a beating heart, several Hollywood actors called for a boycott on any states that promised to protect babies with beating hearts.
In Hollywood, it's customary to simply have a gaping black void or stone in lieu of a heartbeat. Thus, when bills began popping up to protect unborn children's beating hearts, Hollywood knew they had to step up to fight this bizarre phenomenon.
"Frankly, the idea of a human being having an actual beating heart with warm blood pumping through it is pretty strange," activist and woman who allegedly acted in some stuff that people watched a long time ago Alyssa Milano wrote on her Twitter page. "We'd better make sure to stomp out these so-called 'heartbeats,' just to be on the safe side."
At publishing time, Hollywood actors had also come out against bills that protected babies with brainwaves, as they were unsure what those were as well.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.