PALM BEACH, FL — Sources close to President-Elect Donald Trump confirmed that the he would declare January 6 a new national holiday as soon as he takes office next year.
According to a press release from his transition team, Trump planned to commemorate the date by establishing it as a day of mandatory celebration for all Americans.
"It's the greatest, most beautiful date on the calendar," Trump said in the statement. "As soon as I take office, we will honor the PATRIOTS and GREAT AMERICANS who demonstrated their loyalty to our AMAZING COUNTRY on JANUARY 6. These wonderful people are some of our nation's greatest heroes — far greater than the Avengers, I must say."
Several prominent Democrats, including Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who died several times during the Jan 6 riot at the Capitol, immediately came forward to protest Trump's plan. "It's a slap in the face," she said. "They might as well be spitting on all of us who lost our lives on that horrible day."
Democrats also urged their supporters to come gather at the Capitol on January 6, 2025 and make their unhappiness with the 2024 election results known.
At publishing time, Trump had also announced plans to erect a bronze memorial statue of Peanut the squirrel on the National Mall.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
