DAVOS — Speaking in Davos at the World Economic Forum, President Donald Trump broke it to European Union leaders that it was probably time the U.S. starts seeing other continents.
"I'd say it's us, not you, but I'd be lying," said Trump said. "We had a good run, we really did. Let's face it, we've grown apart, and frankly, we need someone in our lives who doesn't just want us to take care of them. That's not a relationship, okay? You guys don't do anything, it's always take, take, take. I mean, would it kill you guys to send a card on my birthday? I still like you guys, mainly that Italian chick, but it's time for us to explore relationships with other continents that won't forget my birthday."
Trump reiterated in personal meetings with European leaders that America deserves to be with a continent that appreciates her. Several leaders expressed remorse for taking America for granted, but Trump said it was too little, too late.
"All that protection from the Soviets, and not one thank-you card," said Trump. "We sent you billions and trillions of dollars, and you guys just called me names. What kind of relationship is that? Very bad, not good."
At publishing time, the E.U. had defiantly stated that if the U.S. wouldn't pay for everything, then they would look for love in Asia because they sure as heck weren't going to start paying for anything.
AI won't take these jobs!
