WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump says that after a brief phone call with the violent storm, Hurricane Erin has agreed to change course away from the United States.
No other U.S. President has ever talked to a storm to convince it to change course before, but that didn't dissuade President Trump, who is known for bucking precedent to do things his own way. Trump reportedly made the call to the category 2 storm while on Air Force One flying to his Mar-A-Lago golf course.
"It was a perfect phone call," said President Trump. "The best phone call ever really. Believe me. No one has ever talked to a storm that big, but I'm not like other politicians I guess. I get things done. You need a master negotiator with big storms like this, and I make deals like nobody else."
"Erin was very respectful and loved talking to me, quite frankly," continued Trump. "We came to an understanding, and we got what we were looking for to make America great and sunny again."
Trump reasoned with the storm that it was in her own best interest to hang out over the Atlantic Ocean, as it would only lose strength if it came on land. Hurricane Erin was ultimately persuaded that staying away from the United States was a "win-win solution" for both the United States and the storm with 105-mile per hour maximum winds extending 85 miles from its center.
At publishing time, Democrats had denounced Trump for not allowing the hurricane to cross the border in peace.
Woke Jesus is back with a new collection of socialist teachings for your edification.
