WEST PALM BEACH, FL—With many voters around the country disappointed that Biden hasn't given them $2,000 yet, Trump seized the political opportunity to promise that if he's elected in 2024, he will ensure every American receives a stimulus check for $2,001 dollars.
"Sleepy Joe promised a $2,000 stimulus, and where is it?" said Trump in a statement from his Mar-a-Lago resort. "Total disgrace. Too busy bombing people in Syria maybe, who knows! Everyone knows I would do a better job of passing stimulus than Sleepy Joe. I'll even do better! $2,001 dollars! How does that sound?"
Biden was so outraged by Trump's taunt that he challenged him to a soda-drinking contest at the local five & dime.
According to experts, the presidential race in 2024 will just be a large auction where candidates outbid each other to buy everyone's votes with printed money. Presidential hopeful AOC set a high bar this morning by tweeting a promise of infinity dollars to every American.