U.S. - Former President Donald Trump has officially been indicted by the federal government on seven counts of not storing highly classified documents in his garage behind a corvette.
"Mr. Trump had these documents securely stored in a closet instead of strewn about the garage. Straight to jail," said Merrick Garland. "Trump's failure to haphazardly toss Top Secret documents behind a car is nothing short of treasonous."
For his part, Mr. Trump has denied all wrongdoing. "I hide all my classified documents behind the best, most beautiful cars at Mar-A-Lago," said Mr. Trump. "Corvettes are for the poors. Do I look like a poor? Ha! I would never put Top Secret documents behind anything cheaper than a McLaren! What a rube!"
At publishing time, the DOJ announced they would also indict Trump for making a deal with Ukraine without his son receiving millions of dollars in bribes.
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
