Trump Defies Liberals By Chugging Entire Bottle Of Aunt Jemima Syrup

TULSA, OK—Liberals are trying to ruin America by destroying all our favorite corporate mascots, logos, and team names. But President Trump says he won't have it. He defied the woke progressive crowd this week by chugging an entire bottle of Aunt Jemima syrup at his Tulsa rally.

The crowd cheered as Trump put the bottle to his lips and chugged. "Chug! Chug! Chug!" they chanted, screaming with delight as he pounded the whole thing down. Cries of "That's my president!" and "One more bottle! One more bottle!" erupted from the frenzied audience as stray strands of syrup dripped down the president's chin.

"Nobody cancels Aunt Jemima on my watch," he had said before solemnly holding up the bottle of syrup and then guzzling down the entire thing in one gulp. "Ah. That's good stuff. You know, I always liked Aunt Jemima syrup. Way better than Mrs. Butterworth's. People say I'm racist, but I'm not -- I don't see color. I just taste how good the syrup is and follow my tastebuds."

"As long as I have total power here in America, Aunt Jemima will be under my protection."

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There are 30 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.