WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump proudly announced Monday that he now has the highest approval rating of any current U.S. president.
"It's not even close," Trump told reporters at the White House Rose Garden. "I'm wiping the floor with all of those nobodies."
According to NBC polling data, Trump has a 39% approval rating, far exceeding the approval rating of all other current U.S. presidents, who sources allege do not exist.
CNN Chief White House Correspondent Kaitlin Collins pushed back on Trump's claim of having the highest approval rating among current presidents by pointing out that there are no other current presidents, which, she says, gives him a distinct advantage in polling against absolutely nobody. However, Trump has dismissed this claim as fake news.
Trump said, "You are such a terrible reporter. You'll do anything to undermine my progress. So predictable. You are fake news." He added, "Have you even thought about the shadow president? Of course not. I'm polling way higher than the shadow president, believe me."
At publishing time, President Trump signed an executive order to add his face to Mount Rushmore, citing his unparalleled approval rating among current U.S. presidents.
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