WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has declared the White House a no-go zone for ICE raids until construction is completed on the new ballroom.
Trump assured all the construction workers on site that everything would be cool so long as they were working on the ballroom, but he couldn't make any promises after that.
"We're going to put just a little hold on the ICE raids until the ballroom is done," said Trump. "I told Tom Homan, I said Tom, you're doing great work, I love what you're doing out there. You can go nuts in Chicago or New York, but let's give D.C. a rest until the fellas are finished with the ballroom, okay? They're doing such great work, it's really fabulous what they're building. I met some of them the other day, I went down to check on the progress, I met Juan, and Pablo, and Juan, and Ricardo, and Juan. Great people, let me tell you."
According to sources, Trump called for the hold on ICE raids after a delay when seven construction workers, including Trump's favorite backhoe driver, were nabbed in a sting. "That put us back at least three weeks," said construction manager Roger Arthurs. "Plus, Trump had a real soft spot for Julio the backhoe guy. Said he could drive a backhoe like he was riding the wind. I don't know what that means, but Trump was pretty upset."
At publishing time, the workers had announced that in light of the ICE deal, construction on the ballroom may take between 20-50 years to complete.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
