WASHINGTON, D.C. — With a little less than two weeks to go before the inauguration, President-elect Donald Trump has just announced his plan to rename the moon "Space America."
Trump's proposal neatly solves the age-old conundrum of what to call Earth's satellite, as in previous years, Earth's moon has simply been referred to as "the moon," which has occasionally led to difficulties in disambiguating it from the moons of other planets, which are also called "moons."
"It'll be just like America, but in space," Trump told reporters. "It's going to be a big, beautiful extension of our amazing country. They all said we couldn't do it, but I told them, 'No, it's going to be called Space America, because we were the ones who landed on it first.' Believe me, Putin was very jealous, very upset. But that's what happens when you lose the space race. Very sad. Poor little losers. Should have tried harder during the Cold War."
While several countries have attempted to protest Trump's renaming of Space America, their objections were overruled after Trump pointed out that there's nothing in international law that specifically prevents him from renaming astronomical bodies after the United States of America.
At publishing time, Buc-ee's, McDonald's, and Starbucks had all announced plans to open locations on Space America as soon as Trump takes office.
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