WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Iran War will soon be over, said President Donald Trump, as he announced a plan to gift Iran with a giant wooden horse.
The conflict, which has stretched on for months after the administration initially predicted a four-week duration, could soon reach its completion as the U.S. reportedly prepared to offer the Iranian regime the gracious gift.
"It's just a tremendous horse. Really terrific. They're going to love it," Trump said. "It's such a good gift, maybe the greatest gift. So I think this will end the war. They'll lay down their arms and accept us as friends. Because of the beautiful horse."
He continued, "It's a big horse. A really big horse. Maybe the biggest. Lots of people are saying so. They're saying, 'Wow, what a big horse.' And it has to be. Iran won't be impressed by a small horse. They're not 9-year-old girls. Although, maybe their wives would like that."
Trump reportedly got the idea for the giant wooden horse after watching Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey. But when asked if his horse would also be filled with soldiers, he refused to answer.
"What a stupid question," Trump said. "Why would I tell you that? Fake news, we like to call you folks."
Pentagon officials refused to comment further on the giant wooden horse, despite reports that a team of Navy SEALs was seen climbing inside of it.
At publishing time, Iranian officials announced plans to gift America with a giant wooden camel.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
