PALM BEACH, FL — Donald Trump announced a new line of collectible POGs Thursday, devastating presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis. This marks the first time brand-new POGs have been commissioned in thirty years.
"POG stands for Passion Orange Guava. Not many people know that, but I do because I'm the POG king," Trump said on Truth Social. "Every POG features a picture of me drawn by the best artists. We have the best people working on them. Look at this detail. It's stylish like you wouldn't believe. Believe me. So handsome. Everyone says so."
According to sources, Trump is hopeful that his new line of POGs will help him attract young voters ahead of the 2024 presidential election. In 2020, Trump did very well among older voters but lost Millenials and Gen Z members in urban areas. Some say POGs are going to change all that.
Each POG retails for $99.99. A special edition Trump slammer, which Trump says is guaranteed to flip over your opponent's POGs, retails for $249.95. Proceeds from sales go to Trump's presidential campaign fund.
"I just smoked you!" roared a triumphant Trump as he battled children outside of his Mar-a-Lago resort. "Maybe next time you'll do better with some Trump POGs. Tell your parents."
At publishing time, Trump announced that all POGs would be digital NFTs and only he would possess physical copies so that he could continue to dominate.
World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.