WORLD — In the wake of the controversy swirling around musician Ed Sheeran, millions of people across the globe were tragically reported to have been forced to listen to Ed Sheeran.
Sheeran found himself in the middle of a raging public relations battle this week over whether Jewish people who own concert venues can decide not to host artists who want to murder Jews. Sadly, the resulting outcry led to people being compelled against their will to hear Ed Sheeran sing.
"The effect has been devastating," said Fox News international correspondent Faye Rogers. "Poor, innocent civilians around the world are being made to listen to Ed Sheeran. Never have the consequences of the fighting in Gaza been more severe. There must be a lasting peace, for the sake of us all."
Humanitarian organizations reported being overwhelmed by the sheer number of people seeking shelter from Sheeran's music, with emergency workers distributing earplugs and noise-canceling headphones to affected populations.
"We are begging everyone to stop talking about Ed Sheeran," said U.N. Secretary-General António Guterres. "No war is worth this. We call on all of humanity to stop posting videos about Ed Sheeran. This cycle of torture must end."
At publishing time, Israel and Hamas had agreed to an immediate ceasefire after learning Ed Sheeran was planning to release a song about the conflict.
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