ASHBURN, VA — A local data center situated just outside of town, in what is commonly called "Data Center Alley," reportedly disguised itself as an abortion clinic as part of a shrewd plan to win support from liberals.
Data centers are frequently vilified for their environmental impact, but the staff at one data center wasn't taking it anymore. With just a banner hung on the building's exterior, engineers at the data center not only dispersed protests but actually gained liberal support just by pretending to be an abortion clinic.
"Liberals hate any perceived attack on the environment," said one engineer. "Lucky for us, they also love murdering babies. Just a quick signage change, and we've never had so much support from the public."
What was previously a damaging show of solidarity against the data center quickly became an enormous show of support. Now liberals were actively attacking anyone who would dare suggest the data center be torn down and instead singing its praises and demanding it be protected.
"I've never seen an abortion clinic so large, but that must mean it's doing a lot of good work," said Janet Shryke, a liberal from Arlington. "And I will fight for it until my last breath."
Shouts of "A.I., you die!" have been replaced with "My body, my choice!" The plan had apparently worked perfectly.
At publishing time, emboldened by the support it received from liberals while pretending to be an abortion clinic, the data center announced it had entered into phase one of its plan to kill all humans.
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