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With Halloween right around the corner, it's time for everyone to settle in to watch their favorite scary movies. Still, depending on your political stance, you may have a completely different view on what makes a scary movie.
To help everyone's liberal friends, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of the scariest movies for Democrats:
Juno: It's about a teen girl who gets pregnant... and doesn't kill the baby. So messed up.
Braveheart: A movie about a group of insurrectionists who shout "FREEDOM!" and also a gay guy gets pushed out a window.
The Matrix: Neo gets redpilled — literally.
Kindergarten Cop: One of the students spouts blatant bigotry by describing only two genders.
The Patriot: A pro-America movie that features people rebelling against the government... and it stars MEL GIBSON?!
Bambi: Guns! Murdering animals! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It's a Wonderful Life: A man decides not to end his life, thereby failing to reduce the dangerously high human population.
Mrs. Doubtfire: This disturbing movie shows that a man pretending to be a woman only makes everyone laugh.
Rocky IV: A man literally wearing the American flag defeats communism itself with nothing but his fists. Frighteningly problematic.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York: The hotel lobby scene features the most terrifying cameo imaginable. Can you watch it without shrieking in terror?
Feel free to share the list above with your liberal friends, but it's a safe bet that no Democrat can even make it through reading it without running out of the room screaming.
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Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
