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Tim Walz may have just been named Kamala's VP pick. Apart from being governor of Minnesota, the man is a real mystery. Who is he? Why is he? And what will he do in office?
Well, we at the Babylon Bee have acquired a top-secret bucket list of the first ten things Tim Walz wants to do in office. Take a look — if you dare!
Purchase cackle-canceling headphones: Total life-savers during meetings with Kamala.
Authorize Minnesota to annex Michigan, Wisconsin, and Ohio: May the state with the best potlucks win.
Mandate tampons in every men's restroom in the nation: For, you know, equity and all that.
Change the US flag to look more like the Somalian flag: It'll be just like home sweet home in Minneapolis.
Burn down the White House for racial justice: George Floyd will be so proud.
Fire all cops: Utopia at last!
Invoke the 25th amendment against Kamala Harris: That's an obvious one.
Hide his wife from the First Gentleman: You never know where that creep might be lurking.
Authorize the installation of loudspeakers to broadcast the Muslim call to prayer in DC: If Sharia law worked so well in Minneapolis, maybe the rest of the country needs it, too.
Seize the means of production, but in a folksy, down-to-earth way: How very Midwestern of him. Workers of the world, let's get together sometime!
Well, there you go — isn't there so much to look forward to? Boy, are we glad this guy is a real man with a plan!
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