LEAWOOD, KS — Following the release of her new album, singer-songwriter Taylor Swift reportedly sat down with her fiancé, football star Travis Kelce, to assure him that her hit new song "Dumb Hairy Football Jock" was not about him.
"Don't be silly. It's about some... other... dumb hairy football jock," Swift said. "I mean, not other as in, you are also a dumb football jock, just... look, it's not about you, okay?"
According to inside sources, Kelce remained unconvinced as the lyrics to the song directly reference a fight they had months ago, and the jock in the song is called the "chief of all football jocks" and said to be "wound too tight", possibly referencing his role as the starting tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs.
The Life of a Showgirl officially dropped at midnight and has already shot to the top of streaming music charts, with the song "Dumb Hairy Football Jock" currently rated number one on iTunes. Whether the song is about him or not, half the world already thinks so.
"I'm hairy and I play football, but I'm not dumb. I know what the isosceles of a triangle is. No one else in the world knows that," Kelce said. "So if this song is about me, then it's a bad song. Because I'm smart. I know stuff."
At publishing time, Taylor Swift also assured her fiancé that the song "Bad Taste Fiancé" has nothing to do with him or his wardrobe.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
