CHICAGO, IL — After looking forward to having an exciting and fulfilling 2025, a local taxpayer-funded illegal immigrant gender surgeon admitted that he was having a really bad week.
Enrique Rosas, a gender surgeon who specializes in performing procedures on children and was contacted this week by immigration agents to discuss his deportation, revealed that the last seven days have been among the worst of his life.
"It seems like it's just been one thing after another," Rosas said. "The last few years have been tremendously lucrative and successful for me, personally and professionally. I was really looking forward to a big year, but now I'm out of work and I'm about to get shipped out of the country. It's just been a really ugly week."
Rosas said he had built up quite a reputation as the nation's foremost illegal immigrant gender surgeon until the new policies implemented by the Trump administration brought everything crashing down around him at once. "First, they declared no more gender surgeries on minors," he explained. "Then, the ICE raids started. I'm just worried about whatever might happen next."
Rosas said he has thus far evaded capture by immigration agents and would attempt to find another occupation to generate income.
At publishing time, Rosas's fallback plan to get hired as the DEI director for a large government agency had reportedly hit a significant snag.
Travis is back on his mission to interview everyone. Next on the list is celebrity chef and restauranteur Andrew Gruel.
