MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Target has unveiled a tropical summer line of kids' clothing with new design partner Ghislaine Maxwell.
"Ghislaine Maxwell really embodies the spirit of what we stand for here at Target," said Target CEO Brian Cornell. "It's a match made in Heaven."
According to sources, the new clothing line will be called "Lil' Groomers" and should hit shelves in June. "We can't wait for Ms. Maxwell's brand to get its hands on kids," said Target fashion consultant Cassie Winslow. "The clothing line will be island-themed, but upscale and exclusive. Ms. Maxwell really has an amazing eye for what looks good on kids."
Target reportedly contacted the incarcerated Ms. Maxwell after an extensive search for new Pride Month designers with experience in affirming children's sexuality. "Ms. Maxwell has a rock-solid history of being incredibly affirming," said CEO Brian Cornell. "You would be hard pressed to find anyone else who has done more to help young kids express themselves sexually. We are so incredibly proud to have Ms. Maxwell continue that incredible legacy right here at Target."
At publishing time, conservatives calling to boycott Target over its partnership with Ms. Maxwell were declared terrorists and added to the FBI's watch list.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
