DEL RIO, TX - Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg announced that the supply chain crisis wreaking havoc on the nation's economy has been resolved, and praised Biden's brilliance and ingenuity in proposing the solution: Ask each migrant coming into the country to help carry a shipping container.
"Big, big shiny boats are flocking to the shores of Mexico," said the cabinet member. "And all the choo-choo trains and beep-beep vroom-vrooms can't handle all the containers! Oh no! So let's just have the thousands and thousands of migrants carry them in! It's a solution that can only be attributed to Biden's progressive policies."
One immigrant praised the opportunity to have a job before even entering the United States illegally. "It's unbelievable that only a few weeks ago the White House sent my family a personal invitation, map, GPS, and detailed instructions on how to cross the border illegally, and here I am now, using my skills to carry shipping containers and boost the American economy for a modest $450,000 salary. Gracias Señor!"
Border Patrol agents trying to stop the illegal immigrants from bringing the vital shipments into the country were arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.