U.S. — In order to avoid further lawsuits, Sunny Hostin was forced to read a legal notice on camera acknowledging that not a single statement made on The View in the entire history of the show has been even remotely true.
Hostin appeared slightly perturbed while reading the prepared statement, which lawyers at ABC had drafted in order to "keep us from being sued into absolute oblivion."
"Nothing I have ever said should be construed as having any truth to it whatsoever," read Hostin. "There is literally no grain or kernel of truth to any statement made by any host on this show, and everything that has come out of my mouth previously, or will come out of it in the future, should be considered a complete and total falsehood. The executives at ABC disavow everything that has ever happened on this show, and have purchased another billion dollars in umbrella insurance."
The statement left The View's dozens of fans fuming, feeling as if they had been had. "I trusted her," sighed Tina Lawson, at last changing the channel. "When she said Latinos voted for Trump because they are white supremacists, I believed her. When Whoopi said the Holocaust had nothing to do with people being Jewish, I believed her. If you can't trust minds like these great women, who can you trust?"
At publishing time, Hostin had been forced to read an addendum clarifying that anything said by ABC News, or any ABC affiliates, should also be considered completely and utterly false.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
