U.S.—A new study has found that executive abuses of power are only a big deal when the other political party is in power.
The research also confirmed that you should only be worried about the rapidly increasing power of the executive branch when your political foes control the White House.
"When your own political party is in power, you can rest easy: the consolidation of power in the executive branch probably won't enable the next guy to do terrible things," said the head of the study, Dr. Bart Cardigan. "Don't worry too much about it. The next person who gets in power will definitely give all that power back as his first, well, executive order. It's an unwritten code among presidents: they immediately roll back their power when they sit down in the Oval Office chair. They're gentlemen, after all."
The study came as a big relief to many Americans, who were starting to grow concerned that both political parties were just expanding the powers and scope of the executive office for their own political gain without concern for how their enemies could abuse that power in the future.
"It's good to know we only have to worry about the president acting like a dictator about half the time," said local man Gary Christoph. "I just don't have the energy to police my own guy as well as the other guy."
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.