CAPE TOWN — One nation set its sights on becoming the envy of the rest of the globe, as the South African government said the country would soon achieve 100% diversity once it gets rid of all the white people.
As part of its bold quest toward ultimate inclusivity, South African officials announced plans to achieve "100% diversity" by removing all white people from the country. The groundbreaking initiative, dubbed by insiders as "Operation Murder Whites," sparked widespread excitement among its advocates.
"True diversity means no whites," explained South African President Cyril Ramaphosa. "By eliminating the white people, we can achieve a vibrant, uniform society where no one feels different. South Africa is proud to lead the rest of the world in the journey to make the dream of a fully diverse society come true."
Sources said the plan involved incentivizing white South Africans to leave the country through a "Diversity Departure Package," offering one-way tickets to any other nation in the world. Any white people who resist would reportedly be gently encouraged via murder and rape. "We are committed to true diversity," Ramaphosa continued. "And that means ridding our country of anyone with white skin."
Global diversity advocates praised the initiative, with one expert noting, "South Africa is redefining inclusivity by excluding. It's a remarkable breakthrough."
At publishing time, the remaining non-white South African residents were said to be excited to find out what effect the expulsion of all of the country's white farmers may have on the national economy and food supply.
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