VIRGINIA BEACH, VA — Local single woman Michelle Denton continues to be perpetually stressed out as she sadly has no man around to tell her to relax.
While all of her married friends live in peace and harmony due to their husbands instructing them to calm down, Denton remains constantly plagued by anxiety.
"I'm so stressed, but I just don't know what to do," said Denton. "I think if someone were here, maybe like a man, to tell me the next step, I could move forward. I'm so lost."
Friends and family have expressed concern about Denton's stress levels, hoping that someday soon she will find a man who can help. "I remember being in her shoes, poor thing," said Denton's sister Emily. "Before I met Mike, I was always anxious about this or that. Now he just tells me to 'stop worrying', and everything is so much better. I hope my sister will find that same thing."
At publishing time, Denton had sadly chosen another unflattering outfit as she had no man around to tell her that it made her look fat.
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