U.S. — What had been expected to be a delightful lunch was thrown into chaos and threatened to destroy an entire day, as a local man's sandwich was completely ruined after not being cut into triangles.
Paul McDaniel had requested that his wife prepare a simple but delicious turkey sandwich for his mid-day meal, only to find that the food he had been looking forward to had been rendered inedible by being divided into rectangles instead of being cut diagonally.
"I can't eat this," McDaniel reportedly said after being presented with the unsightly sandwich. "Nobody should be subjected to this type of food. Look at it. It's not triangles. I thought my wife loved me, but now I'm not so sure."
According to sources within the home, McDaniel and his offending sandwich were still both sitting at the table hours later. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with this," McDaniel said. "I've only ever eaten sandwiches that were cut into triangles. I'm not sure how to approach this. Am I supposed to take a bite out of the flat side, like some sort of Philistine? Really? This just goes to show how far we have fallen as a society. We're now living in a world where people are expected to eat sandwiches that aren't cut into triangles. It's sad."
Family insiders were unable to determine if McDaniel's wife's failure to cut his sandwich into triangles was simply an egregious oversight or a sign of more serious trouble in their relationship.
At publishing time, McDaniel's day had taken a turn for the worse after he saw his dinner plate with his mashed potatoes and the lettuce from his salad touching each other.
Coming soon to a Democrat-controlled city near you!
