WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sources within the White House painted a sobering picture today, as insiders revealed President Biden's mind has deteriorated so much that he has even forgotten Corn Pop.
The sad news came as yet another indication that Biden's cognitive ability has continued to spiral downward, with even his close relationship with the beloved former gang leader Corn Pop fading away into obscurity.
"It's almost as if he never existed in the first place," said one White House staffer. "Just imagine having your memory deteriorating so badly that you don't even remember important people and stories you spent so much time conjuring up out of thin air. It's really heartbreaking to witness. Next thing you know, he won't remember the time he spent driving that big rig or that his Uncle Bosie was eaten by cannibals in New Guinea."
Though details of Biden's mental decline have been kept under wraps by his top advisors and administrative staff, insiders have worried that the president's fading memory will eventually become known. "We suggested he tell us about Corn Pop for old time's sake," the source said. "He just looked at us as if we were crazy. Like there was no Corn Pop and he had never met him before. Tragic."
The source then explained that Dr. Jill Biden remained determined to keep Joe in office even if he forgot his name.
At publishing time, White House staff expressed concern that Biden's cognitive condition may eventually deteriorate to the point of him not even knowing exactly how his son died.
Kamala Harris is out of a job, but luckily we've got ten great career options just for her.
