UKRAINE — Following constructive talks about ending their war, the leaders of Russia and Ukraine have reportedly reached a new type of truce where they keep bombing each other indefinitely.
"President Zelenskyy and I understand each other perfectly," said Russian President Vladimir Putin. "We are proud to announce we have agreed to a truce where we continue fighting until the end of time."
Zelenskyy is reportedly asking the international community for $1 billion a year to keep bombing Russia in hopes of maintaining the bombing truce.
"I am committed to honoring this historic agreement," Zelenskyy said. "Please send money. I need more money."
According to sources, Russia and Ukraine have been bombing each other for so long that it's the only way they know how to communicate. End the bombing, end communication — and peace will never be reached.
"If Russia fails to bomb Ukraine, we will see it as a hostile attack in violation of their truce," U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham said of the truce. "The bombs must never stop, or Europe will fall and we will all die."
At publishing time, Trump announced all the bombs for the truce would be made in America.
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