LOS ANGELES, CA — A room full of pedophiles in attendance at Sunday night's Grammys ceremony defiantly protested Trump's deportation of pedophiles.
"We can't deport these people. They're just like us!" said one prominent celebrity pedophile. "One of us! One of us!"
According to experts, pedophiles often oppose the arrest and deportation of pedophiles. Since ICE has chosen to focus on detaining murderers and sex criminals, Hollywood celebs have banded together to stop ICE at any cost.
In response to the support of a roomful of pedophiles, a spokesperson for illegal aliens in Minneapolis called on Hollywood celebrities to please stop vouching for them. "Some of us are not pedophiles," said Juanita Gutierrez. "And the more you claim to speak for us, the more you make us all look like pedophiles."
At publishing time, the Grammys reported their lowest ratings ever.
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