WASHINGTON, D.C. — Fox News Correspondent Peter Doocy has been issued a restraining order after he asked a question of Karine Jean-Pierre in today's press conference.
"Peter, really? Is that a question? Really, Peter? That's really uncalled for Peter," scolded the first gay black Press Secretary. "You should frankly know better than that. You are being rude to the rest of the people in this room who are here to do their jobs of handing me pre-screened softballs which I then hit out of the park with the killer lines in this binder someone gave me."
Doocy was then dragged out of the room by security as the other journalists chanted "SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!"
According to sources, the restraining order forbids the reporter from coming within 1000 feet of the White House and will be in place for a period of 1 million days.
"Once he shows us he can follow the rules and wait for 1 million days, we will let him back," said Jean-Pierre. She then gave an exasperated "sigh" and shook her head.
At publishing time, Doocy had been arrested after attempting to crawl into the HVAC system of the building.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.