CAMBRIDGE, MA — Despite years of attempts by the most brilliant minds on the planet, researchers said that modern man is unable to create any television shows as good as Animaniacs.
A team of specialists working at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology worked extensively to unlock how a program with the brilliance of Animaniacs was made in years gone by, but concluded that it was a feat that was impossible for modern human civilization to replicate.
"We've simply lost the technology," said Dr. Raymond Crabtree, who led the research team. "Whatever previous generations of humans did to produce such a television show has been lost to the sands of time. We've looked into everything, but we're just unable to recreate anything close to it. I mean, look at it. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. Pinky and The Brain. The Goodfeathers. We have no idea how humans managed to from years ago were able to construct something like this. They must have had help from… somewhere."
Attempts to produce similar results were dismal failures. "We're stumped," said Dr. Helga Longenbromer. "Even our most advanced techniques are incapable of duplicating what they did on Animaniacs. How did they manage to produce something like Chicken Boo? We honestly have no clue. It's a total mystery. Hopefully, mankind can one day discover how this was made."
At publishing time, the MIT research team had released a subsequent study theorizing that whatever unknown advanced civilization that was responsible for Animaniacs had likely also helped humanity create the inimitable Batman: The Animated Series.
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