U.S — According to a Department of Homeland Security report, former President Joe Biden's soft border policies allowed 2,000,000 Flood lifeforms over the border.
Homeland Secretary Kristi Noem warned the United States government is incapable of containing the spread of the Flood. "It's only a matter of time before we become them and America ceases to exist," she said.
The Flood reportedly originates from the neural essence of the Precursors, an ancient alien species predating all civilizations, and functions as a parasitic hive mind that contaminates everything it touches. Its shared consciousness is seemingly centered in the Gravemind, a gigantic worm-like entity with tentacles that speaks in rhyme.
President Trump has all but accused Biden of being under the psychic influence of the Gravemind. "Boy, he was a stupid president. And weak. People are saying the Gravemind got to him. Maybe it did because I don't know why else he'd open the border for the Flood. It's not like they're going to vote Democrat," Trump told reporters aboard Air Force One. "I never would have let that happen. It would never happen. You don't play around with the Flood, they took out the Forerunners."
At publishing time, President Trump had reached out to Elon Musk's SpaceX to see if they could locate "some of those space circles" for him.
Can a sombrero get you free healthcare?