U.S. — Researchers reported this week that they are now over 60% confident Ohio exists.
"We've looked into it, and we're now pretty sure," said Dr. Frank Paulson, the lead researcher of the federally funded study. "I mean, as sure as you can be about these kinds of things." Scientists say they have found "fairly convincing" evidence such as highway signs in definitely real states like Indiana, Michigan, and Pennsylvania that mention Ohio, something called Cincinnati chili, and several semi-professional sports teams like the Bengals and Browns.
Experts had begun looking into the existence of the once-mythical state after thinking about it for a while and realizing that no one knew what was under Michigan and above Kentucky.
"So, yeah, Ohio. It's a thing, apparently," said Paulson.
Scientists aren't sure what to do with the information, pointing out that while this is a groundbreaking discovery, "it's still just, you know, Ohio."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
