LANGLEY, VA — Rumors swirled throughout the international intelligence community this week after reports surfaced that agents from the Central Intelligence Agency had carried out a surprise raid of the Central Intelligence Agency.
While the details surrounding the raid were unclear, sources revealed that the CIA had suspected the CIA of engaging in legally questionable behavior for decades, culminating in the CIA storming the CIA to gather evidence in an investigation of the CIA.
"We suspect we've been up to no good for a long time," said one CIA insider who asked to remain anonymous. "We've been allowed to run roughshod over the world for long enough, and it's time for us to hold us accountable for the things we believe we may have done."
A CIA press release officially denied any raid, passing it off as unsubstantiated rumors. "Any reports of us carrying out a raid on us are unfounded and not based on any facts," the statement said. "We remain committed to performing our responsibilities with integrity while keeping an eye on us to make sure we're not doing anything we shouldn't be doing. The American people can rest assured that we've got our eye on us."
Early reports indicated that an internal CIA investigation of the CIA had officially cleared the CIA of any wrongdoing.
At publishing time, news broke that a group within the CIA had carried out a raid on the team of CIA agents who had carried out the raid on the CIA.
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