PORTLAND, OR — Local hussy Amy Vindman is taking the evangelical world to task for its oppressive and harmful participation in what is commonly known as "purity culture."
"Purity culture did so much damage to the church and our country," said the licentious strumpet to reporters while picking up some penicillin from the local pharmacy. "Women were told that sleeping with hundreds of men who didn't care about them was a terrible idea, and many women still live with the burden of shame that was unfairly placed on their shoulders. I'm so glad purity culture isn't a thing anymore."
According to sources close to Vindman, the shameless floozy has found freedom in meeting different men on a dating app every night and splitting the bill at a local tapas place before sleeping with them and never seeing them again like the wanton trollop she is. "Thanks to escaping Christianity, Amy has finally been able to experience the joy and freedom of her 12th abortion," said a close friend of the dissolute Jezebel. "Just look how happy she is now!"
Vindman hopes her story will encourage church leaders to think twice about the cruel burden they place on their congregations when they tell them to not sin.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
