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Purina Introduces Proverbs 26:11 Vomit-Flavored Dog Chow

ST. LOUIS, MO—Representatives for Purina confirmed Friday the dog food manufacturer has just recently introduced a new Proverbs 26:11 vomit-flavored variety of its Dog Chow line.

Based on the eponymous wisdom proverb that states, “As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly,” the food is said to represent a revolution in biblically based dog food.

“We designed our food around the eternal Word of God,” a spokesperson said. “The Bible says that dogs will keep coming back for more of that delicious vomit flavor, and we wanted to build our food on that foundational biblical precept.”

Made with real dog vomit, the food not only keep your dog eating like never before, but it will remind you of the truth of the Scriptures as the dog consumes more and more of the chow that tastes exactly like its own barf. “As you observe your pet consuming this stuff by the bucketload, you’ll have time to reflect on how we as fallen sinners tend to return to our sin again and again.”

“It’s a good lesson for both you and your pup,” he added.

At publishing time, Purina had further announced a cat food that tastes like human souls, “since it’s pretty obvious that cats are demons incarnate.”

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