WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a tense press conference Monday, Press Secretary Jen Psaki faced pointed questions about several Biden misstatements that led to chaos during his trip overseas. Psaki quickly reassured the gathered press that Biden doesn't speak for the President of the United States.
"The President has clearly said, and we agree, that Joe Biden does not speak for this administration," said Psaki to the confused reporters. "Nothing said by Biden should be misconstrued to reflect the official foreign policy of the President. This administration has been clear from the beginning, that we have always been clear about what we have been clear about, clearly."
"But Jen!" said a feisty Peter Doocy, "Don't you think these inconsistent statements could cause World War III and unleash CRT on our kids all at once? Why did Biden have to walk back his statements?"
"We would like to walk back the statement that we have ever walked back any statements," said a frustrated Psaki. "But if you find any statements that we have walked back let me know and we'll circle back later to walk back our walk-back."
Sources say Biden is now in his basement on tranquilizers until the administration can clarify what statements need to be walked back.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
